Is it polite to inquire about the attire the band or DJ will wear on my wedding day?
Yes it is perfectly fine to inquire about the attire of your band or DJ. If you’re having a very formal event you shouldn’t leave this detail up to interpretation. Do ask your band how they plan to dress or make it clear what the tone of your event will be.
Who should walk me down the aisle, my absentee father or my stepdad who has always been there for me? Or could I have them both?
Today’s bride can have anyone walk down the aisle with her. If you feel uncomfortable leaving your stepdad out, you don’t have to! Have your father walk you halfway down the aisle. Then let your stepdad escort you the rest of the way.
If my dad was not there, could I have my mom give me away?
You most certainly can have your mother give you away.
Could I pass on the bachelorette party in favor of a Prayer Night? Would people think I’m weird?
If it’s your wish to have a Prayer Night in lieu of a bachelorette party then go for it! As far as being concerned that people will think you’re weird, don’t worry about that. Hopefully you’ll be including the individuals who love and care for you the most. Chances are they know your faith and style so it will make sense to them how you choose to celebrate.
When was the tradition of “Wedding Favors” started and by whom?
It is believed that the European aristocracy began the tradition of bestowing wedding favors upon all of their guests. They were called bonbonniere and consisted of small boxes of crystal or porcelain, which held delicate confections such as cubes of sugar, then considered the ultimate symbol of wealth and royalty. **This information was provided by: www.trulyweddingfavors.com **

Things I think I know about Wedding Planning and don’t…There are hundreds of things to be considered to plan, not just the Rehearsal Dinner…….. List three that are not the first to come to mind.
1. The details : A lot of brides don’t consider the small details that often fall through the cracks i.e. Who will transport your gifts from the reception.
2. The budget: Many brides aren’t aware of how much things actually cost i.e. The price of your wedding floral doesn’t just include the cost of the flower. Labor, shipping, vase rentals, and the season can affect those costs.
3. The importance of making decisions quickly and to prioritize i.e. When choosing a wedding professional that you love, make sure you book them as soon as you are sure so that they will be available for your day. Prioritize items in the order that mean the most to you so you can spend your budget wisely.

• Don’t wait to register at the last minute. Start registering at least 7-9 months before your wedding. If you are having an engagement party, then register at least a month before the party.
• Keep gifts in a wide range of price points. When registering for gifts be mindful of your guests’ pocketbook. Consider registering for items in a low, mid and high price range. That way guests are not offended or embarassed because nothing on the registry is within their budget.
• Don’t call your wedding guest and tell them where you’re registered or include it in your wedding invitation. Often couples wonder how guests will know where your registered, however it’s the duty of your bridal party and immediate family to spread the word. Also, wait for the guests to ask where you are registered and then let them know. Another great resource to inform your guests of the registry is your wedding website.
• Write Thank You Notes. Hand written thank you notes are a must to properly acknowledge the receipt and appreciation of the wedding gift. Once you receive a gift in the mail or after a shower, immediately send a thank you note. Also, when you get back from the honeymoon,it can be one of the first things to take on as a married couple. Split the list and you both write personalized notes to your guests to say thank you.

Photo Courtesy of Inhabitat.com

Happy Monday to all of our SJE blog readers!  I can’t believe we are over half way through May.  Where does the time go?

We have spent a lot of Mondays giving etiquette advice to the bride and groom and today I wanted to put the spotlight on the guests.   The following are ways to make sure you are the perfect guest for the next wedding you attend:

1.       RSVP: As soon as you get the invitation go check the calendar and let the bride and groom know if you will be attending.    It’s important for the bride and groom to have the final head count for the venue, caterer, and décor items.

2. Respect the Invitation: NEVER invite yourself to a wedding or invite other people.  If the bride and groom would like you to bring a date or children it will be indicated on the invitation, or have an option for you to add either the name of your guest or plus 1. 

3.       Treat the Wedding as if it was Your Wedding:  Don’t show up late for the wedding, turn your cell phone off, and dress properly for the wedding.   Remember to respect the couples’ day.  They have spent a lot of time, energy, and money to making the day special and you don’t want to be the guest to ruin it for them.

Photo Courtesy of Project Wedding

Hello SJE fans! It’s a rainy Monday here in Houston but that won’t stop us! On Saturday Team SJE was at the Houston Museum of Natural Science in the gem exhibit for a ceremony and reception that simply sparkled. Of course the gems surrounding the guests were beautiful but I think the real beauty of this intimate affair was its simplicity. Stay tuned for pictures!

Every Monday we like to highlight wedding etiquette. This Monday’s etiquette piece will address vendors you hired for your big day like your band, d.j., photographer, and event coordinator.

1. Should your vendor expect to be served dinner at your reception?
Your vendor should not EXPECT to be fed at your reception. However, some vendors will have a clause written into their contract stipulating that they’ll receive a meal during your reception. So don’t forget to add them to your guest count. Common courtesy does dictate that you should feed your vendor. Although some vendors bring their own food, you should never assume they will. You wouldn’t want your vendor passing out during your festivities, right?  We recommend that you consider this detail before your big day.

2. Should I tip my vendor?
Well, it depends. Gratuity situations should be approached on a case-by-case basis but you may use these tips as a guide:

*Hair Stylist and Makeup Artist
Protocol: Expected
Standard: 15 to 25 percent

*Delivery and Set-up Staff
Protocol: Expected
Standard: $5 to $10 per person

*Officiant
Protocol: Expected
The standards: Donate $500+ to the church or synagogue or for a nondenominational church, between $50 and $100

*Ceremony Musicians
Protocol: Optional
Standard: $15 to $20 per musician

*Photographer/Videographer
Protocol: Unnecessary, unless the photographer is not the studio owner
Standard: $50 to $200 per vendor

*Reception Staff
Protocol: Expected
Standard: 15-20 percent of the food and drink fee (based on labor not the cost), or $200 to $300 for the maitre’d.

*Reception Attendants
Protocol: Optional based on contract
Standard: $20 – $25 per bartender or waiter; $1 per guest for coat room and parking attendants; $1 per car

*Reception Musicians
Protocol: Optional, yet preferred
Standard: $20 – $25 per musician; $50 – $150 for DJ

*Transportation
Protocol: Expected
The Standard: 15 – 20 percent of the total bill

*Wedding Planner
Protocol: Optional
Standard: Up to $500, or a nice gift

*Information courtesy of the TheKnot.com

Welcome to Friday SJE fans!  We have another busy weekend ahead of us and SJE will descend upon the beach.  We’ll be in Galveston Texas and the residents better watch out because Team SJE really knows how to throw a reception!

This month our Feature Friday spotlight will be April showers.   Hopefully, you’ll be inspired to think outside of the box when planning your bridal shower.  By all means have fun with it!

The photos above show a beach inspired theme with boxed lunches, a retro 50s theme, as well as damask and green inspiration.

Photos Courtesy of Colin Cowie and The Knot

Welcome to another glorious Monday SJE fans! We hope your weekend was awesome. The sun is shining and the weather is perfect for a lunchtime stroll.

Today we would like to highlight a piece of wedding etiquette that many brides have struggled over.
Should I have a cash bar at my wedding? The short answer is No.

Think of it like this: Would you ask for someone to pay for a cocktail at your home? We hope not. The individuals who come to your reception are your guests, and you should treat them as such. If your budget doesn’t allow for a full bar, then serve soft drinks, wine, or champagne. You could also cut back on the size of your guest list to accommodate a full bar. Don’t let anyone talk you into selling drink tickets or having the guests pay!

Inspiration for this post provided by: Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette
Photo courtesy of: Hostess With The Mostess

It is customary that the bridal party pay for their own attire.  Always remember that just because they are paying for it, does not give you the freedom to pick out a $400 Vera Wang dress.  When you’re shopping with your bridesmaids ask them if they are comfortable with the price of the dress you are considering.  It is also a nice idea, when picking out the dress your bridal party will be buying, that you pick a dress they can wear again.  Try to keep the dress in a style that is flattering to all the girls in your bridal party. 

Photo Courtesy of Preownedweddingdresses.com

We now live in a world where e-mail is one the fastest, easiest ways to communicate, but does that mean you should use it for your wedding?   The following is a list of when and where e-mail should and should not be used.

When Not to Use E-mail:

For  Wedding Invitations. It is not appropriate to e-mail or facebook invitations to your wedding guests or your close friends.  The only exception is in rushed circumstances.  For example; there has been a shift in health, you are moving overseas.  Even though electronic invitations are cheaper, they are never the best route.

For thank you notes. ALWAYS write a hand written thank you note for the gifts you receive.   If your guest took the time to pick out a present for you, then always take the time to thank them properly.

When discussing personal or thorny issues. No matter what wedding drama goes on, never hash it out over e-mail.  Keep in mind e-mail is never private and can often be misinterpreted.

When groundwork has not been properly laid. Before you send out group e-mails make sure everyone is on the same page.

When to Use E-mail:

Save the Dates. It is perfectly acceptable to send out an informal notice to friends and family about your wedding date.

Wedding RSVPs. You can always give the option to your guests to RSVP to your e-mail, but still send out a formal RSVP card.

Invitation to informal wedding parties. For your bridal showers or engagement party e-mailed invitations can be an acceptable alternative.  Be sure not to send out group e-mails, send out e-mails with their specific names on it.

Information on Lodging. If your guest list is web-connected sending out an e-mail with lodging, directions and a map is acceptable.

Inspiration Courtesy of Emily Post Wedding Etiquette

Photo Courtesy of Life123.com

Today the rules have completely changed on who pays for the wedding. I plan weddings for brides who have their parents paying, they are paying, the groom’s family is paying, or everyone is paying for a part of the wedding. It was not that long ago that there were set rules about who paid for what. The bride’s family was to pay for the wedding consultant, wedding gown,  the entire cost of the reception, flowers, photography, music, transportation and ceremony. The groom’s family paid for the marriage license, officiant, bride’s bouquet, boutonnieres, rehearsal dinner and honeymoon. There is not a right or wrong answer on who pays for what. It all comes down to what you and your fiancé feel comfortable with. If you’re in doubt about who is paying for what, there is nothing wrong with talking to both sides of the family about it. 

Payment information courtesy of The Knot

Happy Monday and Happy February! We are certainly zipping right through 2010 at a fabulous pace. Today we examine the all important “Thank You” of wedding etiquette.

 
Don’t email. Even though we live in an age of instant communication via social networking, cell phones, and emails, there is nothing more personal than the handwritten thank-you note. Don’t send thank-you notes via email.

 
Don’t procrastinate. Ideally you will send thank-you notes as soon as gifts arrive. It will seem like a much easier task if you are not trying to send a hundred at one time. However, the accepted standard is to send thank-you notes within three months of receiving each gift.

 
Do thank everyone. This includes people who literally put a gift in your hand no matter how much you thanked them in person. Yes, you should send thank-yous to the gift givers at your shower. (Even though you probably thanked them as you ripped open the gift)

 
Do make it personal. How many times have you read, Dear customer or Dear friend?   That’s highly impersonal.  Try to divide the thank-yous among your fiancée so that you are writing to the people you actually know.   This way you can add something unique to each person.  Even though the note will be coming from both of you it will seem more thoughtful.

Tips inspired by Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette Fifth Edition

Photos Courtesy of Cards Direct.com